YOU A CREEPER, BRO

February 10, 2013

One of the things that gets to me about Minecraft are the “villains.” I mean, sure some of them are kind of generic, giant spiders? Meh. Skeletons that shoot arrows? Meh. Even the EnderMen is a play-off of Slender Man. Creepy as hell? You know it, but not really THAT original.

But the Creeper…now there’s something to talk about.

creeperNever before in a video game has an enemy–even the sight of an enemy–filled me with such dread. When I’m playing, say, Halo and I come across a Grunt and then 5 minutes later come across an Elite. There’s never an “Aw man, an Elite! Shoot!” feeling, it’s more of a “Well, let’s buckle down and tackle this!” feeling. No other video game “villains” frighten me or even really make me not to want to see them, but the Creeper…it’s weird.

The Creeper not only fills me with dread the second that I see them, but if they’re near me, I will actually shout and run away. I’m not sure what exactly it is about them either. Maybe their name? Let’s be honest, you can’t be called a Creeper and have people NOT be sort of frightened of you, right?

“Who’s that over there?”
“That’s Tom, the Creeper.”
“Ew.”


The Element of Surprise

See. Just makes people uneasy right from the get go. But I think it’s more of their approach. Take an Elite from Halo. An Elite spots you, it’s game on. It will not rest until you are destroyed, and it will hunt you down. A Creeper might attack you as well, but the difference here is…YOU KNOW AN ELITE IS COMING. The element of surprise that a Creeper contributes to their approach is half of what makes them terrifying. You turn a corner and see an Elite and go, “Aw maaaaan” and run into battle.

You turn around and see a Creeper face to face with you; you throw down your controller, shit your pants, scream like a little girl and go to your mommy.

The Creeper has this way about it that makes you feel uneasy. Not only do Elites most often times–as with most enemies in games–need a weapon to kill you, but a Creeper doesn’t have a weapon. It just EXPLODES. Let’s recap the Creeper so far, shall we?

  • Sneaks up on you, most often undetected
  • Makes you scream like a bitch upon your discovery of its presence
  • EXPLODES ON YOU

What other enemy can you come up with that not only has that level of sneak but also that level of destruction? None, as far as I can think of. Even when you DO spot of a Creeper from like, 2 miles away, you’re still horrified and don’t want it seeing you or coming anywhere near you. And if it does start to come near you, you will gather supplies, build a pixelated airport and fly to a whole other map. Let’s face the facts: Creepers are creepy.

A Creeper’s Life

The funny part is when you start to think about it in the idea of “Well, what if the Creeper just wants to be your friend?” That’s my favorite game to play. Look at the facts here, Minecraft is a game about a world that isn’t really developed in terms of industry and whatnot and unless you have friends playing with you, you are the ONLY PERSON THERE (well, outside of the Villagers). So we have to assume that the Creeper might just be lonely, and wants friendship.

And then, if I continued with my fantasy-as I often do-I start to imagine that somewhere in my world they have meetings. Somewhere they have meetings about how hard it is to be a Creeper. The LCA, Lonely Creeper Association.

“Every time that I try to make a friend, I end up blowing up on them! I can’t control it; it’s just how I am! DO YOU THINK I WANT TO BE THIS WAY!?”

or

“They scream and run away from me, sometimes they try to attack me! I can’t speak their language, so how am I supposed to tell them my feelings!? IT JUST ISN’T FAIR!”

creeper army

And then the Creepers all get together and form a plan to…build a massive giant robot army to force the world to bend to their well. Soon, they find a way out of the game, mate with our women and…and…what the hell was I talking about?

Oh yeah, Creepers are scary, right. It’s true. Go play Minecraft and tell me you DON’T scream when you see one. Seriously. I’m going to start being their friends from now on. Better alternative to blowing up repeatedly.


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