April 24, 2013

wine glassA lot of people have drinking games, usually to make an already fun thing more fun! Or, something kind of boring more fun, but in this case, it’ll be the first one. Gather a group of drinking friends–and this is an ironic article coming from me, who has never drank and just doesn’t want to–who enjoy playing Minecraft and start a game together. However, before you begin the adventure, make a goal, because you do need something to work towards. Something simple, yet something that will take a while, like…make an entire suit of armor and set of weapons out of diamonds.

Now that you have your goal set, it’s time to introduce the drinking aspect of the game. There’s a few simple rules to follow, and thankfully, a game like Minecraft lends itself to be a drinking game, given the things that happen over and over again in it. So, here’s the rules. Do not deviate (unless you wish to completely make your own rules and drinking game) from the rules:


  1. Anytime someone gets blown up by a Creeper
  2. Anytime someone finds some Diamond
  3. Anytime someone completes a piece of their diamond armor or a diamond weapon
  4. Anytime someone finds Lava while mining for Diamond/dies from Lava in the mine
  5. Anytime someone finds a chest inside a mine

Now, obviously you should be over 21 if you want to play this (GO TO BED, BRADLEY), but there’s also a hardcore mode to this that I’ve added to make it even worse. Make sure before you start the game with friends to go into the game in creative mode and build a Nether Portal, then change the mode once the game starts. Then, once you guys are completely sloshed, and have your diamond armor/weapon sets, go through the Nether Portal and fight to stay alive. This will not only be fun as all hell but also enraging as all hell and probably destroy your friendships. But what else is drinking good for?

Now, you can obviously make up your own rules and game and whatnot, but I’d like to see it follow the same template, in the sense of;

  • Have a goal
  • Drink to whatever you think would be fun to drink to
  • Have the hardcore ending; Nether Portal or not, I don’t care

I think that’s really the only template that can work, right? I mean, sure you could just play and get drunk and whoever wins wins the night, but that’s no fun. Just make it more fun by having that hardcore finale! And the hardcore finale and the starting goal can always be different if you can come up with some new ones, which only makes this that much more fun! Hell, you could do this once a week forever, if you could come up with enough ideas and your liver didn’t shit itself to death beforehand.

So there you go, WineCraft. Go and get drunk. But not you Bradley, go to bed. You can’t drink. You’re 9.

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